


Je Veux Vivre Dans Mes Rêves

by reginahalliwell



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Dreams, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Light Angst, Mutual Masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 09:20:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13051104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reginahalliwell/pseuds/reginahalliwell
Summary: Set sometime mid-film of Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, which I am unable to tag as a fandom.





	Je Veux Vivre Dans Mes Rêves

Kylo Ren wakes in darkness, sweat coating his brow, sticking his long curly hair to his forehead and cheek. In his restless sleep, he dreamt of _her_. She hadn’t said no to him, hadn’t refused his offer to rule the galaxy together, to create a better world with her at his side.

His dreams are where he can safely play through what he wishes had happened.

Sometimes, in his dreams, Rey comes to him through their Force bond voluntarily, her thoughts calling him to her. In his dream fantasies, she wants him just as much as he wants her. In his world, he can pretend that every confusing glance, ever near touch, every baring of their souls means something more.

Here they are not just a perfect balance of light and dark. Here they are soulmates. Lovers.

~

Rey wipes a tear from her eye as she’s startled out of sleep by a sound outside. She looks around, half worried she’ll see _him_ there. She had done what she could, but even when it seemed like she might have turned him to the light, she had failed.

But here, in her dreams, when it’s safe at night and she’s alone, her thoughts take her to a dozen different fantasies.

She dreams that when the window opened on her small flight pod, there was only him. No stormtroopers, no handcuffs, no Snoke. Just Rey and the sad boy she thought she might love.

She could see that boy in him, the son of the surrogate parents she almost had. 

Another tear slips down her cheek, and this time she lets it run.

~

Sometimes when he wakes up, she’s actually lying next to him, shifting around restlessly but clearly asleep. He watches, then, and takes comfort in the closeness of his body to her own.

In those moments, he remembers the feel of his back against hers, their lightsabers ignited and defending each other in the wake of his assassination of Snoke. Why had those guards continued to fight them, anyway? With Snoke gone, he should have been the defacto Supreme Leader and their direct superior.

It didn’t matter. The sight of that girl fighting _with_ him, at his side, the image of her eyes, so trusting, on him as he saved them both from that monster, that sight would be with him forever.

He loved seeing her fight with that lightsaber, a twin to his own. He was a little bit broken, just like his cracked kyber crystal, but she shone brightly and led them both to safety.

When he sees her sleeping, like this, he remembers that she refused him. They could be in the same bed right now, if not for her principles. If not for his folly.

~

Rey knows, on some level, that their Force bond works even while they’re unconscious. Sometimes she has woken from a pleasant dream to find its subject asleep beside her even as she knows the true distance between them. She assumes that means the same has happened when _she_ is the unconscious party. 

She’s torn. On the one hand, seeing him like this is a reminder that Ben is still inside him, still that innocent, betrayed boy who saw only one way out. On the other hand, she knows what terrors await the galaxy when that same boy is awake, an unsettling reminder that the image of him like this is nothing but a futile dream. As much as she wants to, she knows they might never find a middle ground.

Still, as Rey glances at him, watching him toss and turn in his sleep, she can’t help but wonder if he’s still worth saving. If he even can be saved. She lets herself imagine, in the dark solitude when he’s there, whether they might still be a perfect fit.

~

Once, when they wake, brought into consciousness by some mystic pull, they are both aroused to find open eyes staring back at them, surprised and uncertain.

Their bond should have died with Snoke, if he had orchestrated it. No, they both knew that this was something more.

Rey fixed a piece of hair that was hanging down in her field of vision, replacing it and once again tucking her hand under her pillow. She was on her side, facing him. She continued to look at him without remark, as though she wanted to let the silence continue rather than ruin the moment.

Kylo’s bedcover was down farther than he thought she’d like, given her previous comments about his state of undress, but he let it remain rather than break either of them out of their reverie with too much motion or noise. He let her look her fill instead, and look she did.

Here in the quiet hours of morning, the light still absent outside and awaiting their respective dawns, they could both pretend that this wasn’t what it was. If they didn’t speak, this didn’t need to have happened. 

~

The next time it happened, Rey chose to leave her eyes closed and pretend she wasn’t absolutely certain he was right next to her. The pull of their Force bond had drawn her out of sleep, but she didn’t want to acknowledge that this was anything more than a dream.

He saw her jolt, her mind waking from sleep, but her eyes remained closed. He decided that she had the right idea. Closing his lids once more, the dreamy quality of their bond resettled and he reached a tentative hand out, into the space between them. She sensed his movement and went to meet it, draping a hand out to gently rest on his own.

As their bare hands touched, sleep warmed and yet strangely clammy, they shared a sigh. Rey was not content to leave it at that, and she could sense his own desire through their mental and physical connections.

Eyes still closed, Rey moved her hand slightly up his bare arm until she reached his chest. That bare chest had taunted her before, tempted her and mocked her with its perfection. It was marred only by the long scar that reached all the way up his face. She had put it there. But here in the dark, she wasn’t ashamed or frightened. No Light or Dark. Jedi or Sith. No Resistance or First Order. 

They simply were.

Kylo drew in a breath as her fingers grazed his pectoral muscles, her nails scratching gently as they roamed his chest. 

He let her explorations continue, unsure if he should pursue his own. He knew that they could both pass this off as a dream in the morning light if they wanted to, but that didn’t necessarily mean the dark could excuse everything. He didn’t want to push his luck. 

Still, when Rey’s hand roamed lower, he found the spark of courage he needed. He heard a small gasp as her hand traced his tight abdominal muscles, finding the trail of coarse hairs that led down into his underthings.

While her hand pressed on, Kylo made his own start, pulling his body closer to hers so he could bring their mouths together. When he felt the shaky breath of her desire and nerves on his chin, he stroked her hair gently, softly, until she steadied.

He could feel her head tilt slightly, automatically adjusting their positions so they would be able to kiss properly. When her mouth descended on his, something crackled inside him, like lightning or a stoked fire. Now his own breath was shaky, her hand doing things to him—unseen but certainly felt—that made his heart pound and his belly burn.

She opened her mouth to return his kiss, feeling Kylo’s movements mirroring her own, touching in places reserved for lovers. His hand gently but urgently explored her body, as if he was afraid that at any moment this could all disappear and he would miss his chance.

A short moan escaped Rey’s mouth in the quietude, bringing them both back to reality for a moment as the sound pierced the air. Kylo’s hand had moved past her torso and found where he most wanted to touch her.

As his fingers deftly probed and stroked her, Rey’s own hand became more daring, tracing the trail of hairs on his abdomen down to their terminus. He was hard, there, and that she couldn’t see him made it easier to touch freely. 

She didn’t know if his eyes were closed as well, didn’t care. The vulnerability she might have felt was prevented by the darkness and the time. Anything could happen here and now.

Their connection was inexorable, their paths entwined no matter what they did or where they went. Across the universe here they were in bed together, for a while.

Heat rose in Rey’s body as she strained and gasped, giving herself over to the sensations Kylo’s hand wrought. Their kisses turned hungrier, her grasp on him more tenuous as her pleasure became too great to concentrate on his.

And then, just as soundlessly and suddenly as they were together, the connection snaps and they each find themselves in their own beds, eyes wide and desperate, bodies heaving with unresolved tension.

~

Kylo wasn’t sure what might await him the next time their Force bond drew he and Rey into a shared consciousness. Across a galaxy, and yet he could be laid bare in an instant with just a look from this girl. 

He couldn’t have imagined it would happen at a time like _this_. 

Rey’s view changes abruptly and she’s looking in on Kylo in his private chambers, seated on a chaise of some kind with his hand moving rhythmically back and forth in his lap. It’s incredibly obvious what’s happening here, but Rey can’t look away.

He doesn’t realize she’s there yet, his concentration and focus solely on his movements. His eyes are closed tightly, his head laid back on the cushion as he faces the ceiling absently. 

He doesn’t realize she’s there because the image in his head very much matches the image actually in front of him. He forces himself to imagine her presence in these fantasies. Lately, it’s only been her. Especially since that night. He could still feel her fingers on him and taste her in his mouth as he desperately finished following their abrupt disconnection.

When he groans out his release a few moments later, still staring up at the ceiling, it’s with her name on his lips. 

“Yes?” she says in response to hearing her name, unsure how else to break the tension.

His eyes, aghast, flit from above him to eye level, where Rey is seated opposite him. Watching. She saw. She _heard._  

He holds her gaze for what feels like minutes, his hand sticky and worn out, his heart rate up not just because of the strain but now because of his terror? excitement? at her presence.

She remembers the words he spoke to her when he was _interrogating_ her at Starkiller Base. _Don’t be afraid, I feel it too._

“Me too,” she says, recalling those words as she knows he must also be doing. She looks at him almost compassionately, as though she understands exactly how he feels, what he needs.

Because she does. This connection could have easily opened up to her vigorously stroking herself this morning during a private moment instead.

The look in his eyes says too many things, and Rey remembers why it’s so much easier in the dark. 

~

“I don’t want to do this now,” she says, again. The connection never opens at an opportune moment. What she would call opportune she’s not even sure. 

When he sees her fully, he notices that she’s crying. He’s the moody one of the two, so he can’t imagine what brought her to tears like this.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, moving towards her, into her personal space. 

“Everything,” she responds. But she can’t say what. She can’t tell him that she almost wishes she had said yes, that she wants nothing more than to take him into her arms and into her bed.

He sits down, close enough to touch her, and holds out a hand. “I know,” he says. She reaches out and clasps his outstretched hand gently, knowing their position is an impossible one. Here, at least, things are a little simpler. He in the dark and she in the light, hands clasped together in peace, for now.


End file.
